[Intro]
Good guys are overrated, man!
I mean look at this out-of-work plumber
Who spends less time saving the girl
Then he does munchin' on mushrooms!
Ha, no surprise there...

[Verse 1]
You must be trippin' out your mind if you wanna mess around with Bowser
The fire-breathing King Koopa, [bad word] your flower power
Step in his castle you'll get bashed, burned, beaten, destroyed
And he's the only reason Mario is even employed

I smell some Mortal Kombat goin' down
If you pick a fight with Shao Kahn, then he's gonna smack you around
With his Wrath Hammer, now there's a weapon that you should fear
FINISH HIM!
That's the last thing that you'll ever hear

No Gods or Kings, only men, parasites you better scram
It's Andrew [bad word]  at you
When you got no hope he'll give you rapture
man chooses but a slave obeys
Now Would You Kindly make the choice to get the [bad word] out my way?
 [bad word] 
I'm not the good guy, if you couldn't tell
I may be bad, but I do it so well
I'm half the reason these games even sell
Don't call me evil, I'm just out for myself!

[Verse 2]
Don't get me started on Sonic
That hedgehog is awful obnoxious
Ever heard of Doctor Robotnik?
He's the guy you might get along with
It won't be long before he builds a device
That's gonna show you how fast Sonic [bad word] for his life

All hail the world eater, first-born of the Katot
Scorching all your mortal souls, he's the Nordic Dragon God
Whether you're man or mur, Alduin will feed on you
All the people fear [bad word]  Dovahkiin, meet your doom!

Talk about an appetite
The Flood will eat anything in sight!
Good luck finishing the fight, you can say goodbye to organic life!
Survival is the [bad word] that they play by
That's why you don't go striking up a deal with the Gravemind!
 [bad word] 

General Shepherd is the man you gotta work for
But only if you wanna start another world war
Even when you think you've got a [bad word] friend...
*Gun [bad word] 
All you are is one less loose end

Yo, Ex-Special Forces legend turned mercenary
He made a nation dedicated to the military
hero led astray, Big Boss is his name
PLOT TWIST! Solid Snake, you're biologically the same!

Gather your magic and grab your Master Sword
Whenever you're heading to battle with Ganondorf
The Triforce has the power that this dark lord needs
And once he gets his hands on it, there's no stopping the beast
 [bad word] 

It ain't cake that this baddie wants to feed to you
Just open up your Aperture and then you'll see the [bad word] GLaDOS, one of the baddest girls I've ever seen
Her humanity is dead, all that's left is the machine

Oh no, Professor Hojo, you don't know, just what you've made
Project Jenova's gonna show you how to Fall from Grace
The One-Winged Angel you just went to war with
Sephiroth is the god who you oughtta worship!

Clean-cut, [bad word]  and creepily cryptic
One look at him and you know the G-Man means business
The inter-dimensional molder of time
Smell the ashes, Mr. Freeman?
Rise and Shine
 [bad word] 

[Outro]