What good is sitting alone in your [bad word] hear the music play
Life is a Cabaret, old [bad word] to the cabaret

Put down the knitting, the book and the broom, it's time for a holiday
Life is a cabaret, old [bad word] to the cabaret.
 [bad word] taste the [bad word] hear the band [bad word] blow your horn, start celebrating
Right this way, your table's waiting

No use permitting some prophet of doom to wipe every smile away
Life is a Cabaret, old [bad word] to the cabaret

I used to have this girlfriend known as ""Elsie""
With whom I shared four sordid rooms in Chelsea
She wasn't what you'd call a blushing flower
As a matter of fact she rented by the hour.
The day she died the neighbor's came to snicker
Well, that's [bad word] from too much pills and liquor
But when I saw her laid out like a queen
She was the happiest corpse I'd ever seen
I think of Elsie to this very day
I remember how she'd turn to me and say:

What good is sitting alone in your [bad word] hear the music play
Life is a Cabaret, old [bad word] to the cabaret

And as for me, and as for me,
I made my mind up back in Chelsea
When I go, I'm going like Elsie!

Start by admitting from cradle to tomb there isn't that long a stay
Life is a cabaret, old chum.
Only a cabaret old chum,
And I love a cabaret!