I've posed for pictures with Iv'ry Soap
 I've petted stray dogs, and shied clear of dope 
 My smile is brilliant, my glance is tender 
 But I'm noted most for my unspoiled gender 
 I've been made Miss Reingold, though I never touch beer 
 And I'm the person to whom they say, "You're sweet, my dear," 

The only etchings I've seen have been behind glass 
 And the closest I've been to a bar is at ballet class 
 Prim and proper, the girl who's never been cased 
 I'm tired of being pure and not chased 
 Like something that seeks it's level 
 I want to go to the devil 
 I want to be evil, I want to spit tacks 
 I want to be evil and cheat at jacks 

I want to be wicked, I want to tell lies 
 I want to be mean and throw mud pies 
 I want to wake up in the morning 
 With that dark brown taste 
 I want to see some dissipation in my face 
 I want to be evil, I want to be mad 
 But more than that, I want to be bad 

I want to be evil and [bad word] an ace 
 Just to see my partner's face 
 I want to be nasty, I want to be [bad word] 
 I want to be daring, I want to shoot pool 
 And in the theater, I want to change my seat 
 Just so I can step on everybody's feet 

I want to be evil, I want to hurt flies 
 I want to sing songs like the guy who cries 
 I want to be horrid, I want to drink booze 
 And whatever I've got, I'm eager to lose 
 I want to be evil, little evil me 
 Just as mean and evil as I can be!