Pop, Six, Squish, Uh uh, Cicero, Lipschitz

And now, the six merry murderesses of the Cook County Jail in their rendition of the Cell Block Tango

He had [bad word] He had [bad word] He only had himself to blame
If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it
I betcha you would have done the same!

You know how people
have these little habits
That gets you down. Like Bernie.
Bernie liked to chew gum.
No, not chew. POP.
So I came home this one day
And I am really irritated, and
I'm looking for a little bit of sympathy
and there's Bernie lying
on the couch, drinking a beer
and chewing. No, not chewing,
POPPING. So, I said to him,
I said, "You pop that
gum one more time..."
And he did.
So I took the shotgun off the wall
and I fired two warning shots...
Into his head.

He had [bad word] He had [bad word] He only had himself to blame
If you'd have been there
If you'd have heard it
I betcha you would
Have done the same!

I met Ezekiel Young from
Salt Lake City about two years ago
and he told me he was single
and we hit it off right away.
So, we started living together.
He'd go to work, [bad word] home,
I'd fix him a drink, we'd have dinner.
And then I found out:
"Single" he told me. Single, my [bad word] 
Not only was he married...
Oh, no, he had six wives.
One of those Mormons, you know.
So that night when he came home from work,
I fixed him his drink, as usual.
You know, some guys just can't hold their [bad word] 

He had [bad word] He had [bad word] He took a flower
In its prime
And then he used it
And he abused it
It was a murder
But not a crime!

Now, I'm standing in the kitchen
carving up the chicken for dinner,
minding my own business.
In storms my husband Wilbur in a jealous rage.
"You been [bad word] the milkman," he says.
He was crazy and he kept on screaming,
"You been [bad word] the milkman."
And then he ran into my knife.
He ran into my knife ten times!

If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it
I betcha you would have done the same!

Mit kersek, en itt? Azt mondjok,
hogy a hires lakem lefogta a ferjemet en meg
lecsaptam a fejet. De nem igaz, en artatlan
vagyok. Nem tudom mert mondja
Uncle Sam hogy en tettem. probaltam
a rendorsegen megmayarazni de nem ertettek meg...

Yeah, but did you do it?
UH UH, not guilty!

My sister, Veronica and I had this double act,
and my husband, Charlie, traveled around with us.
Now, for the last number in our act,
we did these 20 acrobatic tricks in a row.
one, two, three, four, five, splits, spread eagles,
back flips, flip flops, one right after the other.
So this one night before the show we're down at the Hotel Cicero,
the three of us, boozing, having a few laughs and we ran out of ice.
So I go out to get some. [bad word] back, open the door, and there's Veronica and
Charlie doing Number Seventeen -- the spread eagle.
Well, I was in such a state of shock, [bad word] blacked out, I can't remember a thing.
It wasn't until later, when I was washing the blood off my hands
I even knew they were dead.

They had [bad word] They had [bad word] They had [bad word] all along
I didn't do it
But if I'd done it
How could you tell me that I was wrong?

I loved Alvin Lipschitz more than I can possibly say.
He was a real artistic guy... sensitive... a painter.
But he was always trying to find himself.
He'd go out every night
looking for himself and on the way
he [bad word]  Gladys, Rosemary and Irving.
I guess you could say we broke
up because of artistic differences.
He saw himself as alive
and I saw him dead.