Original music video: youtu.be/ifw8G0MdYbo
 [bad word] rhett_and_link)

Here we see the Bearded Cardinal 
In his native habitat.

 [bad word] to the Walmart parking lot!

Coolin' off, beneath the shade 
Of a '92 Cadillac.

Could life get any better?

But there's a sad [bad word] 
Like a flower that won't blossom —
He'll never do the one thing 
That makes being a bird awesome...
Unlike his bird brethren 
Traversing the sky
The Bearded Cardinal
Will never fly...

Excuse me, I'm sorry I couldn't help but overhear, 
Did you say I can't fly?

Yeah.

You're the Bearded Cardinal, a flightless bird.

You know what? 
I'm cool with that.
In fact, I see it as a positive. 
I want to sing about it...

I got a big beak,
Feathers on fleek,
I keep cool in the heat 
By flapping my vestigial wings.
I'm down to Earth,
In fact, I hate heights.
Who needs working wings 
When you're this fly?
I regurgitate meals
Into my kids' mouths.
I never get sucked into a jet
Or hit the side of a house...

 [bad word] a shopping cart
At a pretty high speed,
If I was a bettin' bird
I'd bet the cart's about to hit me...

Ohhhhhh
It did!
Ohhhhhh
It hurts!
Ohhhhhhhhhhhh
Ohhhhhhhhhhhh
Ohhh
Ohh
I'm dead.

Oh man, I think he is dead...
He couldn't fly
But he's a pretty good lip syncer.

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