I feel your ghost beside me as I take my aching steps into the sand.
and as the waves take my breath I realize I can no longer stand.
I remember when we sat on the shore.
I watched your guilt pollute the sea,
but I would keep pressing on and turn this vice to apathy.

The waves [bad word] and consume us:
you’d no longer see the beauty here,
and I would start to drown you
the harder I tried to keep you near.

I can’t stand with a broken spine. You’ll see my hands wither in time.
And even though I know you’re gone, your presence lingers on.
I can’t keep my languid lids lifted;
I’ll sleep on the sand that I’ve searched and sifted,
but you’ll still float through my dreams. You’ll swell up and over me.

I keep searching for the root that grew from the seed you planted.
Dark things have grown up, cracked the pavement where we were standing.

There’s no place I feel at home-
I’ve been torn away from everything I’ve known.
My surroundings are re-arranged: strange places with familiar names.

And every night I wake up in cold sweat to find a spider in my bed.
I like to think that it’s you trying to crawl inside my head.

Lover, this fracture forever shapes my skin.
I’m cold and terrified as [bad word] to watch me break again.

The morning brings such unique sorrow.
I’m sick of watching the [bad word] up.
No promise of a new day in tomorrow when I’m tired of waking up.

You
left me
with the weight of our sin.
Now I have to bear this burden
until the very end.