Walking down the street and everybody's staring
Just jealous of what I'm wearing
That's right, it's a [bad word] pack, b*tches!
Hot pink, it matches my britches
You're thinking that guy's insane [bad word]  what's his name, what's wrong with his brain
I'm perfectly sane, just hear what I say
Everything I need's just one zip away (C'mon!)

My [bad word] pack, my [bad word] pack is all I need
It's on my waist while I shower and while I pee
It holds my hairspray so I look good every day
It holds me tight and keeps the boogieman away

You can't mess with my [bad word] pack
I'm a maniac
It's a fact you better watch your back
Packs more than a backpack
One time I looked inside and I found an iMac!

Only tough guys wear [bad word] packs
Hulk Hogan, Chuck Norris, and...this...guy
Diss me and you better watch your back
I'll smack you with my 20-pound [bad word] pack! (Hi-yah!)

I've been attacked by a wild beast
I think it was a furry hippopotamus from Greece
I needed a weapon for the fight
'What I pulled out was a stick of dynamite!

Makes great gifts for the holidays
It's my d*** in a bag, baby
If you talk smack, I'll put you in my sack
What's this?! It's a midget in my [bad word] pack!