[bad word] flatsounds

i use to walk from school to meet you at the coffee shop to drink two
cups of joe, then bum a smoke off anyone
and i’d play for you some songs i wrote - most were about being alone
and how sad i got, my troubled thoughts and giving up
before i knew what troubled was

i never used to read, i never had the time
i’d be too busy writing about my own life
and everything we saw that day
and how you made me feel
to assure myself everything was real

i was never good at talking smoothly
so we’d stick to watching movies
take to bed Eraserhead and The Squid and the Whale
and i’d play for you some songs i wrote
most were about the way you spoke
and how sad i got when you’d stop and go to sleep
before you knew just what they mean

i’d dream about a time when everything was fine
where every single passing day didn’t feel like a waste of time
i saw so many things today but didn’t feel alive
i’ve died, i’ve died, i’ve died

now i don’t remember how you speak
i mean [bad word] to me in dreams
but by morning i lose everything you ever said
so i am going to bed.