Intro

Sumerian:
We’re chilling like it’s summer, in our Sumerian city-states,
Inventing the arch, we put it on our city gates.
We built the temples, ziggurats,
We’re swimming when it’s very hot,
In the Tigris and Euphrates, baby.
In the Tigris and Euphrates, baby.
In the Tigris and Euphrates, baby.
Each city is unique, we don’t have to wear a uniform,
But when we’re writing it, we write it in cuneiform.

Sargon:
I roll through, invading them; I’m Sargon the Great,
Empire builder for the Akkadians.

Hammurabi:
Sorry Sargon, your empire couldn’t last,
I babble on these tracks, put Babylon on the maps.
I’m Hammurabi, you can call me Papi,
Made a strict code, ’cause your laws were sloppy.
Hammurabi’s Code matches tooth for tooth,
Poke an eye out and get yours poked out too.

An Assyrian:
We’re the Assyrians, assassins,
Seriously dangerous when we're blasting, we took your men captive.
Burnt Babylon, built a library instead,
With that old book: Epic of Gilgamesh.

What? We’re in that Fertile Crescent,
Sargon, you smell, need some Herbal Essence.
I keep it quick, like a turtle’s breakfast,
Time’s up, better learn your lessons.

Nebuchadnezzar: [bad word] better, I’m Nebuchadnezzar,
Me and my Chaldeans are sharper than cheddar.
We’re so holy like Swiss cheese,
One day my wife said, "Neb, I miss trees.
This city life is too hard for me,
All is see is brown, baby, I need garden-green."
So I built the Hanging Gardens of Babylon for my girl,
It’s one of the seven wonders of the world.

Phoenician:
Phoenicians: Where we get our alphabet from.
Phoenicians: Trading, and standing strong.
Phoenicians: We set sail on seas,
Built ships with ease, sail from Sidon to Sicily.
The best craftsmen, we make the best crafts,
We blow the most glass, we make the most cash.
Trade the glass and crafts, watch our paper stack,
Dye cloth, people like, "I got to have that."

What? We’re in that Fertile Crescent,
Sargon, you smell, need some Herbal Essence.
I keep it quick, like a turtle’s breakfast,
Time’s up, better learn your lessons.

Hebrew:
You don’t have to barter, Lydians made cents,
’Cause Lydians printed coins like a mint.
Between Egypt and Babylon, we’re the Hebrews,
Tribes and crews; today we’d be called Jews.
Wandering the desert, avoiding bandits,
Till Moses showed us [bad word] 
Divided into 12 tribes, we got lost,
Until King Saul finally reunited us.
Next, David built [bad word] 
In the Bible, he defeats Goliath, ya heard of him?
His son Solomon built the temple, we weren’t saved,
Chaldeans invaded and made us slaves.

What? We’re in that Fertile Crescent,
Sargon, you smell, need some Herbal Essence.
I keep it quick, like a turtle’s breakfast,
Time’s up, better learn your lessons.