On the seven seas there was a phantom ship [bad word] Shinin' in the dead of night
I heard the crew a hummin'
Tunes that sounded like the Rolling Stones and Leonard Cohen
But they didn't know the words
So I assumed that they was foreign [bad word] But I heard them just the same
Doctor let me teach 'em
I just wanna please 'em
Doctor let me teach 'em
I looked up in the sky, there was a phantom plane [bad word] 
Shinin' in the dead of night
I heard the pilot saying
Poems that were written by John Keats and Robert Browning
But he didn't know the words, so I suppose that it was nothing [bad word] Doctor, please believe me
I know you won't deceive me
But do these things I'm sein'
Have any hidden meaning
It's all good entertainment and it doesn't cost a penny
So please, doc, let me teach 'em
If I can only reach 'em [bad word]