"Okay, so.. we brainiacs finally figured out that we live in multiple universes. Pff…a billion stars afar, but… really, what quantum [bad word] is that? Are you ready? Knock yourself out. Freaky…"

Darwin defended creation
Einstein travelled in time
Columbus discovered India
And Shakespeare couldn’t rhyme

O.J. pleaded guilty
Manson made parole
Reagan won five Oscars
And Meryl none at all

Elvis was a vegan
Dylan never got stoned
Alice was known as Vincent
And Bowie was just Jones

Michael looked like Michael
Keith drank only juice
Madonna was a virgin
And Jimi played the flute

Bond’s drink was stirred not shaken
Darth Vader had no son
Dorothy was still in Kansas
And Clint didn’t own a gun

Rocky had no sequels
Arnold never came back
ET dialed the wrong number
And Dolly had no rack.