If I had a cigarette every time a perfect stranger asked me for a cigarette 
then I'd have enough cigarettes to get me through the day.
And if I had some spare change every time a perfect stranger asked me for some spare change 
then I'd have enough spare change to take care of these bills I have to pay. 
I know that times are tough but that does not mean that you can have my stuff. 
So how 'bout a ride? I can drive you to the shelter. 
We can eat dinner at the Andre house and you can even take a shower 
cus I think you deserve much more than a smoke and 50 cents. 
You deserve to be self sufficient and buy your own cigarettes.
Oh, when the saints. Oh, when the saints go marching in. 
They will feed you so much pizza that you'll forget about [bad word] that you are in. 
Oh, when the saints. Oh, when the saints, oh when the [bad word] marching in. 
Well I'm sure they'll feel so much better with the illusion 
that they are helping out those sinners 
when all they really do is buy those so called sinners [bad word] dinners. 
Like 5 dollar Hot and Ready pizzas and high [bad word] corn [bad word] punch. 
You diabetic and apathetic, wondering when they will bring you lunch to the park 
they keep you in, when the saints go marching in. 
So I wish I had a cigarette for every time a perfect stranger asked me for a cigarette 
but I wonder what a cigarette will really do to help that person out. 
I wish to God I had some spare change for every time a perfect stranger asked me for some spare change 
but there's not enough spare change in the world to make such an empty gesture count.