[bad word] joydivisionclub

This is a crisis I knew had [bad word] 
 Destroying the balance I'd kept.
 Doubting and turning and moving around,
 Wondering what [bad word] next.
 Is this the role that you wanted to live?
 I was foolish to ask for so much.
 Without the protection and infancy's guard,
 It all falls apart at first touch.

 Watching the reel as [bad word] to a close,
 [bad word] taking its time,
 People who change for no reason at all,
 It's happening all of the time.
 Can I go on with this train of events?
 Disturbing and purging my mind,
 Back out of my duties, when all's said and done,
 I know that I'll lose every time.

 Moving along in our God given ways,
 Safety is sat by the fire,
 Sanctuary from these feverish smiles,
 Left with a mark on the door,
 Is this the gift that I wanted to give?
 Forgive and forget's what they teach,
 Or pass through the deserts and wastelands once more,
 And watch as they drop by the beach.

 This is the crisis I knew had [bad word] 
 Destroying the balance I'd kept,
 Moving along to the next set of lives,
 Wondering what [bad word] next.