Look at little Tim Tim, sleeping so soundly.
WAKE UP TIMMY, WHAT IF THERE'S MONSTER?!
Don't be scared, Timmy, or he'll eat you.
Monsters smell fear.
Lucky for you, I got a 
SAFETY TORCH!
Put it on your porch, make a 
SAFETY PORCH!
Put it in the hallway.
SAFETY TORCH!
Scare the monsters away.
SAFETY TORCH!
That'll be 50 bucks.

But my house is on fire.

Tim Tim, things are looking grim grim,
But lucky for you you,
I [bad word] with a solution!
It's your lucky day!

SAFETY WATER!
Put it in a bucket.
SAFETY WATER!
Pour it on the fire!
SAFETY WATER!
Maybe make a bubble bath.
SAFETY WATER!
First one's on the house.

Ha ha ha. I see what you did there. First one's on the house.

Ha ha ha, yeah. Just the first one though, but it took quite a few, so those, plus all the safety torches. 

No!

So that'll be... let's just call it... 500 bucks.

I don't have 500 bucks!

Oh, that's fine! I'll bill your parents.

NO!

Thanks for your time, go on back to sleep. Have a good night.

My parents are gonna kill me.