TWILIGHT:
May I have your attention please! x2
Will the real Pinkie Pie please sit down!
I said: will the REAL Pinkie Pie please sit down!

APPLEJACK:
Uh, We're gonna have a problem here...

PINKIE:
Y'all act like you've never seen a pink pony before
Eyes all on the floor, like Mrs. Cake is being a [bad word] 
with me babysitting worse than before
Apples to the core? That apple core is rotten now (Ew!)
And now Twilight like:

TWILIGHT:
Oh no, what a catastrophe! She didn't use the legend of the mirror pool, did she?

PINKIE:
And then Spike said.. nothing you bronies!
Spikes a bone-head, he's hiding under his bed!
Brony guys love Pinkie Pie

APPLEJACK:
Pinkie Pie, I'm sick of her, look at her
Hopping around shaking her you-know-what 
in front of you-know-who

RAINBOW DASH:
Yeah but she's so fun though

PINKIE
Yeah I probably consumed too much; sugar and sodium
But no worse, than what's going on; on nickelodeon
Sometimes I wanna get on TV and just cut cheese
but I can't! Nor can Cheese cut Pinkie

My plot is in your face! My plot is in your face!
Clap your hooves and do a little shake!
And that's the dance move we teach to little kids
And we expect them to not know what twerking is

Of course they're gonna know friendship is magic 
and everything that's tragic in the world is [bad word] by little girls
We aint nothin but horses!
Well some of us donkeys that can't be bothered to sing on key

But if we can show a male and a female pony's marriage
Then why can't two female ponies just kiss?
All I know is Eminem will be [bad word] if he hears this
Sorry, those bronies can't resist!

 [bad word] 
'Cause I'm a pink pony, yes, I'm the pink pony!
all you other pink ponies are just being phonies
So won't the real pink pony please sit down! Please sit down! Please sit down! x2

PINKIE
Fluttershy doesn't have to be loud or annoying
But I do, mainly because I get paid to
You think I wanna be best pony?
Half of you bronies don't even follow me, let alone know me

RARITY:
But Pinkie Pie darling, you're just so weird!

PINKIE
So? Don't you know that's why I'm feared?
My jokes go on longer than Star Swirl's beard?
 [bad word] Dashie! 10 seconds and the sky is cleared?

Now I can properly flip off Gilda
I wanna control her with my mind like Matilda
Griffon [bad word]  yelling at Fluttershy
Making Andrea cry, that's why we all want you to die

Put me on blast on Discovery kids!
And show the world how the Hub wanted to get rid of us
I'm sick of you Deviantart groups, who the [bad word] even starts groups?
All you losers ever do is [bad word] [bad word] 

There's hundreds of us who talk like me,
trot like me, break the fourth wall like me
Who hop like me, stop drop and clop like me
I'd rather be me than be Trixie or Flash Sentry!

 [bad word] x2)

PINKIE
I'm like a head trip to watch! 
Weather you watch me for my personality or for my crotch
Look I'm just glad Hasbro didn't draw balls on ponies
But now all you bronies answered the call and hung it up on your wall

I just go around being all random
Cupcakes I hand 'em out to this fandom 
Oops, did I say "hand", I meant hoof
Keeping in with the whole anybody/anypony spoof

It's funny, 'cause at this rate when we're canceled
Us ponies will live on through brony artist's pencils
Twilight will still be crazy, Dashie will still be lazy,
Flutter will still sniff daisies, Applejack's dog will still have rabies,
And Rarity will never say "maybe" to a date with Spike 
Man take a hike to Haiti, find a new lady
maybe that dragon that fluttershy was raggin' on will be at BronyCon

So will the real Pinkie please sit down 
and if you wouldn't mind please make a frown
'Cuz only one of us can smile so bright, you lose your sight
I don't bite but if you're a cake I might!

 [bad word] x4)

PINKIE
Hee hee! Guess there's a pink pony in all of us.. Buck it. Let's all sit down.