I am sorry it has been so long since my last podcast. Thank you to all of you who sent me e-mails to ask what had happened and when would my next podcast be. No. I am not ill. No, I am not dead. No, I am not bored with podcasting. No, I have [bad word] away with a beautiful blonde model 40 years younger than me. I have simply been busy.

In the last podcast, I told you about my hens. I am watching them as I write this. They [bad word] round the garden, eating grass and anything else they can find. Soon there will be no garden left. However, the hens are happy, and they lay an egg each every day; and the fox has stayed away.

Last time, I told you that the hens were “point of lay” hens. I want to explain properly what “point of lay” means. Perhaps you know the English expression “to be on the point of doing something”. For example, if I am “on the point of” going to bed, it means that I will go to bed very soon. I have locked the front door. I have put the dirty dishes in the dishwasher, I have cleaned my teeth. The next thing I do will be to go to bed. I am “on the point of” going to bed.

Or, look at the picture on the website. It is a picture of a flower. The flower is still closed and there is snow on the ground. But you can see that very soon the flower will open. It is on the point of opening. It is on the point of flowering.

Recently, some builders came to do some work on our house. Before they came, a [bad word] came and erected scaffolding so that the builders could reach the roof. After the builders had finished work, I waited for the [bad word] to come and take the scaffolding away. I waited for days, then weeks and they did [bad word]  Then I found their telephone number, and picked up the telephone. Just then the doorbell rang. It was the men from the [bad word]  I said to them, “I was on the point of telephoning you to ask you to take the scaffolding away.”

The English language is never simple. We always have more than one way that we can say something. Here are two other ways of saying “I was on the point of” doing something. We can say “I was about to do something”. I was about to telephone my mother. I was about to get into the car.

Or we can say, “I was just going to do something”. I was just going to visit my friend. I was just going to buy a train ticket.

Here are a couple more examples:

I have written a shopping list. I have found my money and a shopping bag. I am about to go to the shops.

My car is making strange noises. Perhaps it is on the point of breaking down!

You are sitting in an aeroplane. The cabin crew have shut the doors and told everyone to fasten their seatbelts. The plane is about to leave. It is on the point of departure. It is just going to take off.

So, now you understand why our hens were “point of lay” hens. They were on the point of laying their first eggs.

Now they are on the point [bad word] destroying my garden. Soon they will take over the world!