I just don't get it - just don't get it, please help me understand.

So what have I [bad word] 
Please, tell me if you can.
The world is changing, spinning, breaking, I don't know who I am.
You are smiling at me...
Pretending you can't see.

Something has changed,
way deep down inside,
the pieces just don't fit.
I'm broken now, so, why should I try?
I'll bare this pain within.

Freeze

I'm breaking yet unbreakable -
I'm crazy but, I have control.
I'm searching but I know I've found...

I'm standing here watching the world collapse around me,
You're so close - but I hope - that you stop searching,
I don't want you to-
to see what I've [bad word] ..
So please stop looking...
I can't control the world that we've all been thrown in,
And I couldn't bear to hurt you...
I want this to end.
So please I'm begging,
won't you leave me alone?

It's better if you go...

The dark consumes me in a blur,
I remember, the way things were,
The way we laughed, the way we played,
Thinking the happiness would stay.
I can't escape
I can't escape
I can't escape
I can't escape
I can't escape
I can't escape this
Unraveled ghoul

There's something deep, inside of me,
a change was made, I can't break free.
The darkness and the light collide,
Our fate ahead won't be denied,
I'm breaking yet unbreakable -
I'm crazy but, I have control.
But even still I'll never stop fighting!

I'm standing here watching the world collapse around me,
You're so close - but I hope - that you stop searching,
I don't want you to-
to see what I've [bad word] ..
So please stop looking...
I can't control this loneliness my heart's been doomed to,
The future is unraveling, don't want to lose you,
So please, I'm begging,
won't you leave me alone?

Remember who I once was...

Don't you forget me
Don't you forget me
Don't you forget me
Don't you forget me

I'm paralyzed, I know that I can't even turn back,
I'm trapped inside this paradise of nothing but black,
So please, I'm begging,
won't you leave me alone?

Don't you forget
Don't you forget
So what have I [bad word] 
Please, tell me if you can.