beard will never talk back
beard is more attractive when it’s hairy and fat
beard’ll stick by you when a woman won’t
beard looks better with age, women don’t
You can attack your beard with a razor, it’ll [bad word] back

You can stroke your beard all night, it’ll never get tired
And a beard will never up and leave you and attach itself to some other guy, no
beard will do what you want, it will always behave
beard will never ask you to shave
 If you throw up all over your beard, your beard won’t mind

beard won’t care if you’re [bad word] in the sack
[ From: [bad word] /www.elyrics.net/read/b/beards-lyrics/why-having-a-beard-is-better-than-having-a-woman-lyrics.html ]
And a beard will never get together with the other beards 
and talk about you behind your back, oh
beard won’t get angry, or jealous or weird
If it sees you looking at another man’s beard
beard will never go and start having  with some guy from her work, and then try and turn that [bad word] around by telling you it’s your fault ‘cos you never paid any attention to her feelings

beard won’t turn and walk away
beard will be with you all the way
I’ll take a beard over a woman any old day
I said I’ll take a beard over a woman any day