Whaur Will We Gang
 [bad word]  Ee-oh ma dearie-o, whaur will we tarry-o
    If we are tae marry-o, whaur will we gang? 

1) We could walk along the Seine
Paris in the April rain
Say the magic words "Je t'aime"
Monsieur and Madame
I hear what you're sayin' flower
Love below the Eiffel Tower
But I get crabbit in a shower
It's just the way I am
    
2) Let's go tae some Polynesian Island
Where it's never freezin'
Lovers wed there every season 
By the coral sea
But I'm a' peely-wally white
And my bikini's gettin' tight
And you are no' a bonny sight
In [bad word] a size too wee.

3) Maybe we are gonna
Get married in Verona
You can be my Romeo
And I'll be Juliet
It didnae turn oot awfy well
They never heard their wedding bells
For they're the pair that kilt theirsels
Gonnae no' dae that!

4) We maun take the maist and least
Feast or famine tae oor breist
Whether we go West nor East
Matters nocht tae me
The world stretches far and wide
And I don't care whaur we bide
As long as you are by my side
Happy we will be