Well, lookie what we got here, brother of mine, it's the same in every town
 Ponies with thirsty throats, dry tongues, and not a drop of cider to be found
 Maybe they're not aware that there's really no need for this teary despair

 And the key that they need to solve the sad cider shortage you and I will share

 Well you've got opportunity
 In this [bad word]  He's Flim
 He's Flam
 We're the world famous Flim Flam brothers
 Travelling salesponies nonpareil

 Non-pa what?

 Nonpareil, that's exactly the reason why, you see
 No pony else in this whole place will give you such a chance to be where you need to be
 And that's a new world, with tons of cider
 Fresh squeezed and ready for drinking
 More cider than drink in all your days of thinking

 I doubt that.

 So take this opportunity
 In this [bad word]  He's Flim
 He's Flam
 We're the world famous Flim Flam brothers
 Travelling salesponies nonpareil

 I suppose by now you're wondering about our peculiar mode of transport
 I say, our mode of [bad word]  And I suppose by now you're wondering, where is this promised cider?
 Any horse can make a claim and any pony can do the same
 But my brother and I have something most unique and superb
 Unseen at any time in this great new world
 And that's opportunity

 Folks, the one and only, the biggest and the best
 The unbelievable
 Unimpeachable
 Indispensable
 I can't believe-able
 Flim Flam brothers' Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000
 What d'you say, sister?

 Oh, we got opportunity
 In this [bad word]  Please Flim, please Flam, help us out of this jam
 With the Flim Flam brothers' Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000

 Young filly, I would be ever so honored if you might see fit to let my brother and I borrow some of your delicious, and might I add spell-bindingly fragrant apples for our little demonstration here?

 Uh, sure, I guess.

 Opportunity, in [bad word]  Ready Flim, ready Flam, let's bing bang zam!
 And show these thirsty ponies a world of delectable cider!

 Cider, cider, cider, cider…

 Watch closely my friends!
 The fun begins!
 Now, here's where the magic happens, right here in this heaving roiling cider press boiling guts of the very machine. Those apples plucked fresh are right now as we speak being turned into grade-top-notch five-star blow-your-horses-up of one of a kind cider!
 Feel free to take a sneak peek!

 Now wait, you fellers, hold it!
 You went and over-sold it!
 I guarantee that what you have there [bad word]  For the very most important ingredient
 Can't be added or done expedient
 And it's quality, friends, Apple Acre's quality and care!

 Well Granny, I'm glad you brought that up, my dear, I say I'm glad you brought that up
 You'll see that we are very picky when [bad word] to cider if you'll kindly try a cup
 Yes, sir, yes ma'am this great machine, it's just the very best
 So whaddaya say then, Apples
 Care to step into the modern world
 And put the Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000 to the test?

 Cider, cider, cider, cider…

 What do you think, folks? Do you see what the Apples can't? I see it clear as day! I know she does! So does he! C'mon Ponyville, you know what I'm talking about!

 We're saying you've got
 Opportunity
 In this [bad word]  He's Flim, he's Flam
 We're the world famous Flim Flam brothers
 Travelling salesponies nonpareil
 Yeah!