It's hard to be a Jew on Christmas 
My Friends won't let me join in any games.. 
And I can't sing Christmas songs 
Or decorate a Christmas tree.. 
Or leave water out [bad word] 
cos there's something wrong with me.. 
My people don't believe in Jesus Christ's divinity.. 
I'm a Jew, a Lonely Jew.. on Christmas. 

Hanukkah is nice, but why is it, 
That Santa passes over my house every year? 
And instead of eating Ham 
I have to eat Kosher LATKEES.. 
Instead of Silent Night 
I'm singing hou-hazch-tou-gavish.. 
And what the [bad word] is up 
With lighting all these [bad word] Candles, tell me please? 
I'm a Jew, a Lonely Jew.. 
I can't be merry, cos I'm hebrew.. on Christmas

Hey Little Boy, I can't help but hear, 
You're feeling left out of Christmas Cheer.. 
But [bad word] to see that you shouldn't be sad 
'Cos this is the one month that you shoud be glad.. 

Because it's nice to be a Jew on Christmas 
You don't have to deal with the season at all.. 
You don't have to be on your best behaviour, or give to charity 
You don't have to go to grandma's house with your alcoholic family.. 
And I don't have to sit on some fake Santa's lap 
And have him breathe his stinky breath on me! 
That's right! You're a Jew, a Stylin' Jew.. 
It's a good time, to be Hebrew.. on Christmas.