DEMETER:
Macavity's a mystery cat, he's called the hidden paw
For he's a master criminal who can defy the law
He's the bafflement of Scotland Yard, the Flying Squad's despair
For when they reach the scene of crime MACAVITY'S NOT THERE!

Macavity, Macavity, there's no one like Macavity
He's broken every human law, he breaks the law of gravity
His powers of levitation would make a fakir stare
And when you reach the scene of crime Macavity's not there!
You may seek him in the basement, you may look up in the air
But I tell you once and once again MACAVITY'S NOT THERE!

BOMBALURINA:
Macavity's a ginger cat, he's very tall and thin
You would know him if you saw him for his eyes are sunken in
His brow is deeply lined in thought, his head is highly domed
His coat is dusty from neglect, his whiskers are [bad word] 
He sways his head from side to side with movements like a snake
And when you think he's half asleep, he's always wide awake

Macavity, Macavity, there's no one like Macavity
He's a fiend in feline shape, a monster of depravity
You may meet him in a by-street, you may see him in the square
But when a crime's discovered then MACAVITY'S NOT THERE!

DEMETER:
He's outwardly respectable,

BOMBALURINA:
I know he cheats at cards

DEMETER:
And his footprints are not found in any files of Scotland Yard's

BOMBALURINA:
And when the larder's looted

DEMETER:
Or the jewel case is rifled

BOMBULARINA:
Or when the milk is missing

DEMETER:
Or another peke's been stifled

BOMBULARINA:
Or the greenhouse glass is broken

DEMETER:
And the trellis past repair

BOTH:
There's the wonder of the thing: MACAVITY'S NOT THERE!

And when the crime has been disclosed the Secret Service say
"It must have been Macavity!"-- but he's a mile away
You'll be sure to find him resting, or a-licking of his thumbs,
Or engaged in [bad word] long division sums!

Macavity, Macavity, there's no one like Macavity
There never was a cat of such deceitfulness and suavity
He always has an alibi and one or two to spare
What ever time the deed took place MACAVITY WASN'T THERE!

And they say that all the cats whose wicked deeds are widely known
(I might mention Mungojerrie, I might mention Griddlebone)
Are nothing more than agents for the cat who all the time
Just controls their operations: "The Napoleon of Crime"!

Macavity, Macavity, there's no one like Macavity
He's a fiend in feline shape, a monster of depravity
You may meet him in a by-street, you may see him in the square
But when a crime's discovered then Macavity
Macavity, Macavity, Macavity
When a crime's discovered then MACAVITY'S NOT THERE!