(припев)
Hey, Mom, you're the bomb for giving us a home
And not grounding me for nudes you found on my phone 
I'm so glad Dad impregnated you 
And nine months later I burst out of your womb

(куплет)

I remember when I was eight my life was going great
My sister loved Snapple there was no debate
I thought it would be funny to play a sweet prank
Take the plastic off the cap and put it in her drink 
And wen she sipped it 
I saw her start to choke 
I couldn't forsee it'd get caught in her throat 
Her birthday [bad word] because of my stupid mistake
She never drank Snapple again and I got all her cake
Thanks, Mom, for stepping up and saving the day
I didn't want you to have to find out this way
(love you)
Hey, Mom, I did something that wasn't that cool
So now I gotta follow that Mother's [bad word] 
(припев)

Hey, Mom, you're the bomb for giving us a home
And not grounding me for nudes you found on my phone 
I'm so glad Dad impregnated you 
And nine months later I burst out of your womb

(куплет)

And when I was fifteen I messed up again
Trying to impress some girls with my friends 
See, I understand the ladies and here was the scoop
Hot girls can't resist the sight of burning [bad word] So I found a dog lured him up the steps 
Tried to feed him X-Lax but he wouldn't ingest
But I didn't stress out I just deal with the glitches
I knew what i had to do to impress these [bad word] But the fire kept spreading 
It wouldn't stay put
So my mama had to step the [bad word] out with her foot
Hey, Mom, I did something that wasn't that cool
So now I gotta follow that Mother's [bad word] 
(припев)

Hey, Mom, you're the bomb for giving us a home
And not grounding me for nudes you found on my phone 
I'm so glad Dad impregnated you 
And nine months later I burst out of your womb

(куплет)

Sorry we hid so many things from you years ago
But here's a couple other things you probably should know 
I watched [bad word] on [bad word] and I told you I never did
Put a sandwich in the VCR when I was a little kid
I punched a hole in the wall and I hit it with a poster
Tried to cook a pizza in the mother flipping toaster
Threw a big [bad word] party every time you were away 
Lied a hot neighbor and told her I was [bad word] And my fish might have died because I overfed 
And I might have done some stuff with a girl in your bed

(припев) х2