Good evening, Ladies and Gentlemen.
Here's a little number I tossed off recently in the Caribbean.

Isn't it awfully nice to have a [bad word] 
Isn't it frightfully good to have a dong?
It's swell to have a stiffy
It's divine to own a [bad word] From the tiniest little tadger
To the world's biggest prick
So three cheers for your Willy or John Thomas
Hooray for your one-eyed trouser snake
Your piece of pork
Your wife's best friend
Your Percy or your [bad word] You can wrap it up in ribbons
You can slip it in your sock
But don't take it out in public
Or they will stick you in the dock
And you won't [bad word] a-back