fine day for the classroom and the pupils are here

 Timmy's got a headache but the others don't care
 Sarah's got to stay behind and help with the drill
 Teacher's got his eye on her moves in for the kill
 Nobody can see or hear the things that they do

 All the books are closed there must be something they do

 Only teacher knows about the subjects they span span

 Education's secondary - being a school mam
 Oooey . . . teacher's doing fine as far as I can see

 Being a school mam
 Long holidays in the summer
 Being a school mam
 Free milk in your coffee breaks
 Being a school mam
 Government paid monthly salary cheques
 Being a school mam

 Noise is heard the principal investigates
 She turns on all the cameras and it's too late
 Catches both their pants down in a passion warm
 Hasn't seen it happen since the day she was born
 Reaches down for glasses that just can't be found

 By the time she finds them - why they're down on the ground

 Tossing and a'turning they've got feverish hands

 Life can be so fluid when you're being a school mam

 Oooey . . . teacher's doing fine as far as I can see

 Being a school mam
 Controlling promiscuity after hours
 Being a school mam
 Giving out detentions by the dozen
 Being a school mam
 Give her fifty lines (of speed)
 Being a school mam

 Sucking on her fingernails can't believe what she's seen
 She seems so engrossed at what appears on the screen
 Locks her door with trembling hands
 Her heart's beating fast she pretends she's down there
 On the floor in the class
 Gives herself to teacher although he doesn't know
 Works herself into a frenzied state and it shows
 Sarah's almost at the top but try as she can
 She can't reach her helter skelter down with the school mam
 Just watch her go and help her try if you can
 Use your twentieth century imagination if you've got any
 Oooey . . . now she's at the top and teacher sets her free

 Being a school mam
 Disgusting behaviour
 Being a school mam
 All over the parquet flooring
 Being a school mam
 Let the flood gates open wide
 Being a school mam

 Now the principal collapses dead on the floor
 with
 Contentment on her wrinkled old face ever more
 She went out the very best way that an old woman can
 She was where the action was down there with the school mam
 Oooey . . . teacher never will discover who could see

 Being a school mam
 One and one make two if you are very lucky
 Being a school mam
 Two twos make four if I remember correctly
 Being a school mam
 Four fours make sixteen and sixteen's over age
 Sixteen and sixteen make thirty-two, that's approaching middle age
 Thirty-two and thirty-two make sixty-four, that's OAP land
 Sixty-four and sixty-four make one-hundred-and-twenty-eight
 One-hundred-and-twenty-eight divided by three
 Let me pause for reflection for a second
 But teacher
 Three does not go into one-hundred-and-twentyeight exactly;
 but it goes forty-two and a bit;
 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 49. 1, 49.2, 49.3, 49.4, 49.5, 49.6, 49.7,
 49.8, 49.9 (X9)
 Fifty