[Intro: J Pee]
J Pee baby, yup, yup
Yeah, you know what it is
Check this [bad word] out man
Check it out, Check it out
Check it out, yeah

[Verse 1: J Pee]
Chillin' with my homies at the Home Depot
(Home Depot)
Buyin' screws and nails, manly [bad word] you know?
(You know?)
My homie says to me "What kind of drill you want?"
(He asked me)
So I said I wanted one right in the [bad word] 

What?

[Hook 1: J Pee]
I'm not [bad word] I'm not [bad word] It was a joke [bad word] on
I'm not [bad word] I like vag more than a pornstar scandal
But can I get the drill with the bright pink handle?

[Verse 2: J Pee]
Playin' tackle football with my homies in the park
Had to wrap it up cause it was gettin' dark
(Gettin' dark)
The other team was looking straight scary as [bad word] (Ooooo)
But my quarterback, he ain't having none of it
(He ain't scared)
He looked at me and told me no matter where I was at
My priority job was to protect the sack
(Okay)
So fourth down, he bends over and yells "Hike!"
So I went and grabbed his balls!

Uhhh...

[Hook 2: J Pee]
I'm not [bad word] I'm not [bad word] I'm just doing my job, step off
I'm not [bad word] It's not like I was purposefully tryin' to feel them
(I wasn't)
I just care about the safety of your future children
(Godfather)
I'm not [bad word]  I'm not [bad word] Quit telling me that, man
I'm not [bad word] Next time I'll just let your balls get mangled, son
P.S. I didn't know that you were so well hung

[Verse 3: J Pee]
Strollin' with my homies in West Hollywood
(Hollywood)
Wasn't my idea because I'm not [bad word] Dude walks by me with his shirt off, and I was like [bad word] [bad word]  you fine!"

.. [bad word] 
[Hook 3: J Pee]
I'm not [bad word] guys
That ain't me
I'm [bad word] with my uality
So I can admit when I see a guy
Who has a handsome face, and pretty eyes
And a rock hard chest, and rippling abs
And the tightest [bad word]  and those sculpted calves
And those bulging quads, and the perfect bod
And ohh my god, take your pants off

Um.. [bad word] it.

[Hook 4: J Pee]
I'm [bad word] I'm [bad word] [bad word] I'm the dude wearing nail polish yelling "Hey!"
I'm the dude at the party who'll grab your butt
(That's me)
And when you turn around and look at me I'll be like "What?"
Yeah!
I'm [bad word] (I'm [bad word] 
I'm hella [bad word] I watch Zac Efron movies every Saturday
And normal self expression doesn't suit me either
That's why my degree is in musical theater
I'm so [bad word] man...