Story
We now return to "Celebrity Apprentehh"

Donald [bad word] Impression
Now Lil' Jon, why do you think your team lost?

Lil' Jon
WHO WHAT?!!

Donald [bad word] Impression
You're supposed to be this great rapper
How'd you lose a rap battle with the deaf [bad word] 

CBS News
We [bad word] your program for a special word from the President of America

Obama Impression
My fellow Americans
I have, uh, some [bad word] to tell you
I know one president getting some anal from Michelle
 [bad word]  I got him
Saw bin Laden out in Pakistan, and shot him in the dome
And told him, there you go
I got him, yo

We solved a [bad word] problem, Joe?
Let's break out the Hennessy
Everybody, smack a [bad word] around from here to Tennessee
Now let us see which Dirka Dirka wants another round with me
I thought I told you crackers, you don't wanna [bad word] around with me

Osama bin Laden
Ay, bro, recognize me?
I look like the Durrky selling you a Slurpee
So much noise about me
Everybody judge me
No one ever loves me
They say, that I'm dead
They don't even know I work at liquor store
They test my DNA

Science Man 1
This says, "Kareem Abdul Jabbar"

Science Man 2
Yeah, that's him!

Osama Impression
I drive a cab in New York
I did Nine-Eleven
I fight for Jihad
al-Quaeda give me discount card

Obama Impression
 [bad word] please, b-b [bad word] please
Get off your [bad word] #39; camel
Get your [bad word] #39; sandals
Taking, we're t-t-taking
All your [bad word] #39; countries
From you [bad word] #39; monkeys

Osama Impression
Bro, I'm from Africa,
 [bad word] from Baghdad,
The, Jews took my cologne,
I, smell like a dog

News Man Impression
Mr. President, who should we blow up next?

Obama Impression
Well, I know Prince William,
He living like a king
He don't do [bad word] 
He just sit, and get [bad word] for free
How the [bad word] are you gonna let him pay his wedding,
With the money he took from you
 [bad word]  let him pay for it

What a bunch of pale, cross-bred, yeah, they all FAIL
One of them is dead, and the others should be all in jail
Oh, Prince Charles, living large, but your mom in charge
 [bad word] you, William, and tell the Queen to slob all on my [bad word] #33;

Queen Impression
We're all living like kings
Raping all the peasants
Taking all their presents
So much nice things
We could have it all
We take it from the poor

Prince William
Hee-hee

Queen Impression
They say we're inbred
I gotta [bad word] me cousin, take a look at London
They mad, they want bread
But they can eat me [bad word] [bad word] 

Prince William
AHAHAHAAHHAHAHAAAA!

Obama Impression
 [bad word] please, b-b [bad word] please
Take off the [bad word] #39; crown and
Blow your [bad word] #39; man, [bad word] 
Hey Queen, H-H-Hey Queen
Get off the [bad word] #39; horse and
Make me a [bad word] #39; sandwich

Osama Impression
Bro, [bad word] you William,
And, [bad word] your fat [bad word]  [bad word]  you can suck my balls
I, [bad word] you by force

Donald [bad word] Impression
Hello my name is Donnie [bad word] 
I make a billion every time I take a dump
I don't need to win the White House, I'll just buy it
I bought the Taliban and told Osama that he's fired

Now Imma smart guy, what the [bad word] #39;s this royal wedding?
I bought the palace and I'll move in when I'm [bad word] #39; ready
So when you see the Prince of England stare and point and say
Ey, you got some free [bad word]  bozo!

All Lawyer
You got some free [bad word] 

Donald [bad word] Saying
Got some free [bad word] 
Free [bad word] 
IT'S FREE [bad word] #33;

Donald [bad word] Impression
 [bad word] please, b-b [bad word] please
Get all your [bad word] #39; boys and
Watch my [bad word] #39; show, yeah
Taking, we're ta-a-aking
All your [bad word] #39; oil
Yeah [bad word]  [bad word] #33;

Osama Impression
Bro, I'm from Africa,
Don't [bad word] with my bros
My crew's from Mexico,
I blow myself up

Obama Impression
My fellow Americans,
Today Osama bin Laden was found at a 7-Eleven in Pakistan, Ohio
I greeted him there myself, with a birthday card as I haven't seen him in over ten years
I asked him [bad word] to my daughter's birthday party
He declined, so I shot him in the face....Myself!
We can all rest assured that Michelle will be giving me a [bad word] tonight...with her mouth this time

Obama Impression
I really the first black man that has to convince people I killed somebody?
Michelle, what's that smell?