Sebastian.

Oh, Sebastian… Oh, Sebastian… 
Sebastian lived in Gaben town!
Sebastian looked like a boring clown 
He had a problem… a [bad word] fate’s frown!
It spoiled the life of poor boy Sebastian!

He went on dreaming, no matter what,
About three things he had not got!
He dreamt about a pretty hat that would suit his head.
About the ability to fit through narrow doorways and… a woman living in his flat…

And sitting on Sebastian’s chairs and sleeping in Sebastian’s bed and eating dinner opposite Sebastian! O-oh, Sebastian! 

Sebastian was a little boy
Sebastian had_ a big-big head!
He was like an ugly attic toy 
And no one wanted to [bad word] his friend!    

And once Sebastian met
girl with a problem just the same
And they came to Sebastian’s bed
And they played in and on and even under it… one funny game!

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And in the morning she suddenly said: 
“I’m sorry, oh, Sebastian, but I should leave you”. And she left.
Sebastian understands
That she knows a man with a bigger head than his, Sebastian’s, head.

Sebastian’s sad! Sebastian is so sad!

Sebastian grows thin - grows black
And broken-hearted he is like a wreck!
Misfortune is at Sebastian’s back
Oh, poor boy, he is on the rack!

One day Sebastian was going to the candy store! 
He saw a bill - a bill nailed to his door!

Oh! Tango class! For you in Gaben town!
Oh! Tango class! For you in Gaben town!

Sebastian from Gaben town, we’ll turn you into a tango star in our Tango class in Gaben town!

He took his dusty shoes from the wardrobe
He put on dusty shoes from the wardrobe – O! O! O! Oh!
He shined his dusty shoes from the wardrobe

And then Sebastian plunged into tango! Tango!
He had some list because of his big head but it was а splendid tango! 

The years rolled by. The years rolled by. The years rolled by.

And once Sebastian met 
girl with а pretty little head.
And they became the greatest couple in the cripples class
They fell in love, Sebastian and pretty-little-headed Tess! 
They fell in love, Sebastian and pretty-headed Tess! 

Sebastian and Tess are in the photo in a wedding frame!
Tess was a hatter - she made a pretty hat for her Sebastian!
The newlyweds moved to a new place with wide doorways.
All the problems of Sebastian were solved so…
The moral of this story is… 
You should be happy with her who-is your direct opposite, if she-is-a-hatter, of-course.