Doctor Cortex is a genius, a mental aberration.
He's totally fixated on world domination.
The local island creatures are dull and obtuse
until the evil doctor turns on the juice.
He wants them for his troops. [bad word] out [bad word] 
most especially...

Crash! Crash Bandicoot!
Should've been a genius, but he doesn't [bad word] 
Crash! Crash Bandicoot!
Anything can happen now that Crash is in pursuit.

Tawna's been selected [bad word] through the blender.
Crash will fight to save her. He'll never surrender.
He'll vanquish any villain to set his girlfriend free.
He doesn't have a clue about how to proceed.
His heart's in the right place.
His brain's been rearranged
unsuccessfully.

Crash! Crash Bandicoot!
If Cortex isn't beaten, he'll reign absolute.
Crash! Crash Bandicoot!
Play our game and tell your friends so we'll make lots of loot.