Got a man, call him my boyfriend, think I've fallen in love
The only man that gives me the things that I am worthy of
Hugs me and holds me, kisses me softly, calls me back right away [bad word] his feelings to me and cares what I have to say
He says

[Jon Daly & Josh Fadem]
"Baby, I love you, baby, I need you
Never gonna let you go"

Writes me love notes, takes me shopping and to Broadway shows
Talk to him like he is a girlfriend, slumber party every night
I've never felt so happy before, he's almost Mr. Right
But I think he's hot and I think he's sweet
And I think he's [bad word] and I think he's neat
Okay, okay, so my boyfriend's [bad word] But what does it matter anyway?

He [bad word] out of the closet yet
'Til then, I'll take all that I can get

If he doesn't think I know
But I know, I know, I've always known
If he doesn't think it shows
But it shows, for sure, it's always shown
You might think it's a little sad
But he's the best lover that I've ever had

At night, when we're lying in bed
He's not hard, it's okay, 'cause he gives me head
Like my mom always says
"It takes more than a pound to be good in bed"
You don't know the meaning of "rock your world"
'Til you've been with a guy who thinks like a girl

He lies and says he's on meds, that's why he's never stiff
When I ask if he's not into me, he always says, "As if!"
But the way he makes up for his [bad word] just could not be finer
'Cause my new best friend is his tongue and his is my [bad word] He reappears from under the covers, looking like he's been to war
Breaks a sweat, catches his breath, [bad word] down back for more
After that, he's never tired, he just want to talk
And cuddles me until I sleep, then takes his dog for a walk

Someday [bad word] out and I'll be happy for him when he does
And I know I'll be sad and thinking of what was
Someday this fairytale [bad word] to an end
'Cause his fairy tail will find a like-minded friend

If he doesn't think I know
But I know, I know, I've always known
If he doesn't think it shows
But it shows, for sure, it's always shown
You don't need no penetration
When you got a good dose of [bad word] 
At night, when we're lying in bed
He's not hard, it's okay, 'cause he gives me head
Like my mom always says
"It takes more than a pound to be good in bed"
You don't know the meaning of slot machine
'Til you've been with a king who thinks like a queen

I know it's not forever, but that's okay
'Cause I'm his girlfriend, and he's my [bad word]