If your toast gets stuck in the toaster
Do not put a fork in the toaster while it is hooked up, or look out
I did and I got caught in the current
Pulled me in and shook me while it held me tight

There are many dangers
They could be in a toaster or [bad word] thing
You must keep a lookout
Remember all [bad word] they have for everything

When it's very, very cold out
Do not put your tongue on cold metal things
For example, stop signs
I did and they had to pull some skin off
And then they had to fill my mouth with cotton at night

There are many dangers
They could be in a toaster or [bad word] thing
You must keep a lookout
Remember all [bad word] they have for everything

When they'd taken out my tonsils
I brought them home
Kept them in a jar on the shelving in my room
Between the toaster, stop sign, and my tonsils
I've got lots of things to think about at night

There are many dangers
Could be in a toaster or [bad word] thing
You must keep a lookout
Remember all [bad word] they have for everything