Maybe you thought I was the Packard Goose
Or the Ronald MacDonald of the [bad word] Well [bad word] all them people, I don't need no excuse for being what I am
Do you hear me, then?

All them rock 'n' roll writers is the worst kind of sleaze
Selling punk like some new kind of English disease
Is that the wave of the future? Aw, spare me please!

Oh no, you gotta go
Who do you write for, I wanna know?
I believe you is the government's [bad word] And keeping peoples dumb (I'm really dumb)
Is where [bad word] from
And keeping peoples dumb (I'm really dumb)
Is where [bad word] from
 [bad word] all them writers with the pen in their hand
I will be more specific so they might understand
They can all kiss my [bad word] but because it's so grand they best just stay away
Hey, hey, hey

Hey, Joe, who did you blow?
Who pushed the button boy and you went to the show?
Better suck a little harder or the shekels won't flow
And I don't mean your thumb (Don't mean your thumb)
So on your knees you bum
Just tell yourself it's yum (Yourself it's yum)
And suck it 'til you're numb

Journalism's kinda scary
And of it we should be wary
Wonder what became of Mary?

Hi! It's me, the girl from the bus. Remember? The last tour? Well, information is not knowledge, knowledge is not wisdom, wisdom is not [bad word]  [bad word] is not beauty, beauty is not love, love is not music, music is the best! Wisdom is the domain of the Wizz (which is extinct). Beauty is a French phonetic [bad word] of a short cloth neck ornament currently in resurgence.

If you're in the audience and like what we do
Well, we want you to know that we like you all too
But as for the sucker who will write the review

If his mind is prehensile (Mind is prehensile)
He'll put down his pencil (Put down his pencil)
And have himself a squat on the Cosmic Utensil
Give it all you got on the Cosmic Utensil
Sit 'n' spin until you rot on the Cosmic Utensil
He really needs to squat on the Cosmic Utensil

Now that I got that over with I'll just play my imaginary guitar again
Hey... hah... soundin' pretty good there, me! Ah... get down... UH!

Boy, what an imagination!
Love myself better than I love myself...
I think...
What tone!
Sounds like an Elegant Gypsy!
What is that? Musk?
It's hip!