Miscellaneous
Oom-pah-pah
CHAIRMAN 

(spoken) Ladies and gentlemen, brethren and sinners all! I call upon our Goddess of the Virtues to
give us her well 
known rendition of the old school song -- Oom-Pah-Pah! 

NANCY 

(spoken) All right, shut up, you lot! bit of culture now! 'Ere we go... 

(sung) There's a little ditty 
They're singing in the city 
Espeshly when they've been 
On the gin 
Or the beer 
If you've got the patience, 
Your own imaginations 
Will tell you just exactly what you want to hear... 

ALL 

Oom-pah-pah! Oom-pah-pah! 
That's how it goes, 
Oom-pah-pah! Oom-pah-pah! 
Ev'ryone knows. 

NANCY 

They all suppose what they want to suppose 
When they hear...oom-pah-pah!! 

Mister Percy Snodgrass 
Would often have the odd glass -- 
But never when he thought anybody could see. 
Secretly he'd buy it, 
And drink it on the quiet, 
And dream he was an Earl 
Wiv a girl on each knee! 

CUSTOMERS AND NANCY 

Oom-pah-pah! Oom-pah-pah! 
That's how it goes. 
Oom-pah-pah! Oom-pah-pah! 
Ev'ryone knows... 

NANCY 

What is the cause of his red shiny nose? 
Could it be...oom-pah-pah!? 

Pretty little Sally 
Goes walking down the alley, 
Displays her pretty ankles to all of the men. 
They could see her garters, 
But not for free-and-gratis-- 
An inch or two, and then she knows 
When to say when! 

ALL 

Oom-pah-pah! Oom-pah-pah! 
That's how it goes. 
Oom-pah-pah! Oom-pah-pah! 
Ev'ryone knows... 

NANCY 

Whether it's hidden, or whether it shows -- 
It's the same...oom-pah-pah! 
She was from the country, 
But now she's up a gum-tree -- 
She let a feller feed 'er, then lead 'er along 
What's the good o' cryin'? 
She's made a bed to lie in 
She's glad to bring the coin in, 
And join in this song! 

ALL 

Oom-pah-pah! Oom-pah-pah! 
That's how it goes! 
Oom-pah-pah!Oom-pah-pah! 
Ev'ryone knows. 

NANCY 

She is no longer the same blushing rose 
Ever since ... oom-pah-pah! 

(spoken) Altogether now! 
NANCY 

(sung) There's a little ditty 
They're singing in the city 
Espeshly when they've been 
On the gin 
Or the beer 
If you've got the patience, 
Your own imaginations 
Will tell you just exactly what you want to hear... [bad word] 

Oom-pah-pah! Oom-pah-pah! 
That's how it goes, 
Oom-pah-pah! Oom-pah-pah! 
Ev'ryone knows. 
They all suppose what they want to suppose 
When they hear...oom-pah-pah!!

ALL 

Oom-pah-pah! Oom-pah-pah! 
That's how it goes, 
Oom-pah-pah! Oom-pah-pah! 
Ev'ryone knows. 

NANCY 

They all suppose what they want to suppose 
When they hear...oom-pah-pah!! 

ALL 

Oom-pah-pah!