My teacher asked me where my homework 
was and that's when I told her 
No hablo Ingles 
Policeman caught me doing ninety 
And that's when he pulled me over 
No hablo Ingles 
hippie with a tambourine asking me 
If I could spare a dollar 
No hablo Ingles 
Some douchebag at the club 
Tries to pick a fight and grabs my collar 
No hablo Ingles 

(One) when I'm not feeling it 
(Two) when someone's full of [bad word] 
(Three) when I get cut off at the bar 
To make a getaway 
It's all you've gotta say 
(Quatro! Sinco! Seis) 
No hablo Ingles 
No hablo Ingles 
(Hey! Hey! Hey!) 
No hablo Ingles 
No hablo Ingles 
(Hey! Hey! Hey) 

My nephew asked me if I'd take him 
To the Jonas Brothers movie 
No hablo Ingles 
Walking my dog I saw a sign that says to 
please pick up the doodie 
No hablo Ingles 
My mama gets mad 'cause I never call my dad 
on his birthday, no hablo Ingles 
guy walks up and says "Doda esta casel de pepe" 
He no hablo Ingles 

(One) So many different uses 
(Two) You don't need no excuses 
(Three) It's as easy as the third grade 
The perfect getaway 
It's all you've gotta say 
(Quatro! Sinco! Seis!) 
No hablo Ingles 
No hablo Ingles 
(Hey! Hey! Hey!) 
No hablo Ingles 
No hablo Ingles 
(Hey! Hey! Hey!) 

Did you [bad word] your teeth? 
(No hablo Ingles!) 
Where'd you leave your pants? 
(No hablo Ingles!) 
Did you feed the fish? 
(No hablo Ingles!) 
Do you like my band? 
Wait .. don't answer that! 

No hablo Ingles 
(Hey! Hey! Hey!) 
No hablo Ingles 
No hablo Ingles 
(Hey! Hey! Hey!) 
No hablo Ingles 

Do you wanna buy some Girl Scout cookies? 
No hablo Ingles 
(Hey! Hey! Hey!) 
Did one of you guys pee in the pool? 
No hablo Ingles 
Hey! how 'bout we all get together 
and go to the ballet!? 
No hablo Ingles 
(Hey! Hey! Hey!) 
No hablo Ingles 
Can I borrow that beer? 
No hablo Ingles! 
Hahahahahaha hhaaa 
No hablo Ingles