Well I guess its been four years today since I've first felt acceptance 
And a sense of [bad word] [bad word] 
You didn't call it love but it felt like it, 
At least every time since then that I felt it, 
That's how one would describes it 
- 
selfless hero is what I wanted you to see 
But just a reckless fool is all that I turn out to be 
Because I was wrecking myself just to make you happy 
I didn't care if I was hurting, as long as you're smiling 
- 
Well they all say the sky is the limit, my heads in the clouds 
And I'm floating in the vacancy of space where my heart should be. 
Constantly playing scenarios in my head of what could have been, 
Stop, rewind, repeat, stop, step back, just let me leave. 
- 
The only thing that I seem to have left I can hold close to me 
Are now nothing but a faded memory, 
The reason why I poison myself 
With alcohol and cigarettes, 
Whatever there is to kill me without you worrying. 
- 
And its nights like these when I've had too much to drink, 
That I start to miss having a god to believe in. 
Something other than poison that slurs my words and blurs my vision 
Just something to listen when I need to cave in. 
- 
And I miss those nights 
When you told me 
That I have a reason to be alive 
And I miss those nights 
You stayed up with me 
Just so I could make it through another night.