I know girls like you
Need someone to [bad word] up their life
And make you contemplate suicide,
When you need a friend to
Blah-blah-blah-blah-blah
Call on me... yeah

You need someone bad,
To irritate your dad,
Someone who'll make you cry,
And sock you in the eye,
When you need a friend to
Bring you to your knees,
Call on me... yeah

I crazy enough? I angry enough?
I stupid enough? I lazy enough?
I [bad word] enough? Do I flunk enough?
I jealous enough?
I selfish enough to be...
Your bridge under troubled water, yeah!

You like pain, you're insane
You can key my car,
And punch my face in the bar
When you blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah
Call me... oh yeah

I crazy enough? I angry enough?
I stupid enough? I lazy enough?
I [bad word] enough? Do I flunk enough?
I jealous enough?
I selfish enough to be...
Your bridge under troubled water, yeah!

I boring enough?
I snoring enough?
I demanding enough?
Un-outstanding enough?
I fat enough? Mad enough?
I bad enough? Wear plaid enough?
I [bad word] enough?
Smell like a skunk enough?
Do I [bad word] enough?
Do crank enough to be...
Your bridge under trouble
Your bridge under trouble
Your bridge under troubled water!