"99 Problems"

If you're having girl problems I feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems but a [bad word] ain't one

[Verse One]
I got the rap patrol on the gat patrol
Foes that wanna make sure my casket's closed
Rap critics that say he's "Money Cash Hoes"
I'm from the hood stupid what type of facts are those
If you grew up with holes in your zapatos
You'd celebrate the minute you was having dough
I'm like [bad word] critics you can kiss my whole [bad word] If you don't like my lyrics you can press fast forward
Got beef with radio if I don't play they show
They don't play my hits well I don't give a [bad word] SO
Rap mags try and use my black [bad word] So advertisers can give em more cash for ads.. [bad word] I don't know what you take me as
or understand the intelligence that Jay-Z has
I'm from rags to riches [bad word] I ain't dumb
I got 99 problems but a [bad word] ain't one
Hit me
 [bad word] 
99 Problems but a [bad word] ain't one
If you having girl problems I feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems but a [bad word] ain't one
Hit me

[Verse Two]
The year is '94 and in my [bad word] is raw
In my rear view mirror is the mother [bad word] law
I got two choices yall pull over the car or
bounce on the double put the pedal to the floor
Now I ain't trying to see no highway chase with jake
Plus I got a few dollars I can fight the case
So I...pull over to the side of the road
And I heard "Son do you know why I'm stopping you for?"
Cause I'm young and I'm black and my hat's real low
Do I look like a mind reader sir, I don't know
I under arrest or should I guess some mo?
"Well you was doing fifty five in a fifty four"
"License and registration and step out of the car"
"Are you carrying a weapon on you I know a lot of you are"
I ain't stepping out of [bad word] all my papers legit
"Do you mind if I look round the car a little bit?"
Well my [bad word] is locked so is the [bad word] and the back
And I know my rights so you gon' need a warrant for that
"Aren't you sharp as a tack are some type of lawyer or something?"
"Or somebody important or something?"
Nah I ain't passed the bar but I know a little bit
Enough that you won't illegally search my [bad word] "Well see how smart you are when the [bad word] 
I got 99 problems but a [bad word] ain't one
Hit me
 [bad word] X2]

[Verse Three]
Now once upon a time not too long ago
[bad word] like myself had to strong arm a hoe
This is not a hoe in the sense of having a [bad word] But a [bad word] having no God [bad word] sense, try and push me
I tried to ignore him and talk to the Lord
Pray for him, cause some fools just love to perform
You know the type loud as a motor bike
But wouldn't bust a grape in a [bad word] fight
The only thing that's gonna happen is i'mma get to clapping
He and his boys gon' be yapping to the captain
And there I go trapped in the kit kat again
Back through the system with the riff raff again
Fiends on the floor scratching again
Paparazzi's with they cameras snapping them
D.A. tried to give the [bad word] the shaft again
Half-a-mil for bail cause I'm African
All because this fool was harrassin' them
Trying to play the boy like hes saccarin
But ain't nothing sweet 'bout how I hold my gun
I got 99 problems but being a [bad word] ain't one
Hit me
 [bad word] X3]

You're crazy for this one Rick
It's your boy