Well a Scottsman clad in kilt left a bar one evening fair
And one could tell by how he walked the he'd [bad word] more than his share
He fumbled 'round until he could no long keep his feet
And he stumbled off in to the grass to sleep beside the street

Ring-ding didle lidle la deo
Ring dye didley eye oh
He stumbled off in to the grass to sleep beside the street

About the thime two young and lovely girls just happened by
One says to the other, with a twinkle in her eye
"See yon sleeping Scottsman, so strong a handsome built
I wonder if it's [bad word] what they don't wear beneath the kilt"

Ring-ding didle lidle la deo
Ring dye didley eye oh
I wonder if it's [bad word] what they don't wear beneath the kilt

They krept up on the sleeping Scottsman quite as could be
They lifted up his kilt about an inch so they could see
And there, behold, for them to view beneath his Scottish skirt
Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth

Ring-ding didle lidle la deo
Ring dye didley eye oh
Was nothing more htna God had graced him with upon his birth

They marveled for a moment, then one said "We must be gone.
Let's leave a present for our friend before we move along"
As a gift they left a blue silk ribbon tied in to a bow
Around the bonnie star the Scotts kilt did lift and show

Ring-ding didle lidle la deo
Ring dye didley eye oh
Around the bonnie star the scotts kilt did lift and show

Now the Scottsman woke to natures call and stumbled for the trees
Behind the bush he lifts his kilt, and gawks at what he sees
And in a startled voice he says, to what's before his eyes,
"Lad, I don't know where you;ve been, but I see you've won first prize"

Ring-ding didle lidle la deo
Ring dye didley eye oh
"Lad, I don't know where you;ve been, but I see you've won first prize"

Our Scottish friend still dressed in kilt continued down the street
He hadn't gone ten yards or more when a girl he chanced to meet
She said I heard what's under there. Tell me is it so?
He said just slip your hand up miss if you'd really like to know

Ring-ding didle lidle la deo
Ring dye didley eye oh
He said just slip your hand up miss if you would like to know

She put her hand right up his kilt and much to her surprise
The Scotsman smiled and a very strange look came into his eyes
She cried why sir that [bad word] and then her heard him roar
If you put your hand up one again, you'll find it's grew some more.

Ring-ding didle lidle la deo
Ring dye didley eye oh
If you put your hand up once again, you'll find it's grew some more.