adrian
Good Morning, Vietnam!!! Hey, this is not a test, this is rock 'n roll. Time to rock it from the Delta to the DMZ. Is that me or does it sound like an Elvis Presley movie? Viva, Da Nang. Oh, viva, Da Nang. Da Nang me, Da Nang me. Why don't they get a rope and hang me? Hey, is it too early for being so loud? Hey, too late. It's 06:00, what's the "o" stand for? Oh, my God, it's early.

adrian
Hey, can you tell me what's your name? "My name is Roosevelt E. Roosevelt." Roosevelt, what town are you stationed in? "I'm stationed in Poontang." Well, thank you, Roosevelt. What's the weather like out there? "It's hot! [bad word] hot! Real hot! Hottest things is my shorts. I could cook things in it. little crotch pot cooking." Well, tell me what it feels like. "Fool, it's hot! I told you again! Were you born on the sun? It's [bad word] hot! It's so [bad word] hot, I saw little guys, their orange robes burst into flames. It's that hot! Do you know what I'm talking about?" What do you think it's going to be like tonight? "It's gonna be hot and wet! That's nice if you're with a lady, but ain't no good if you're in the jungle!" Thank you, Roosevelt.

adrian
Seeing as how the VP is such a VIP, should we keep the PC on the QT, 'cause if it leaks to the VC, he could end up a MIA and we'd all be put on KP.

adrian
We're talking out in the field today. Hi, what's your name? "My name's Bob Fliber!" Bob, what do you do? "I'm in the artillery!" Thank you, Bob. Listen, can we play anything for you? "Anything! Just play it loud! Okay?"

adrian
You know, I have to admit something to you. I just came from Crete with women that look like Zorba. Whoo! Thank you. "Those girls are just so pretty." Gomer, are you here in Vietnam? "Yes, I am, surprise, surprise, surprise!" Lyndon, why did you name your daughter 'Lynda Bird'? "Because Lynda Dog would be too [bad word]  You know if you pick 'em up by their ears it doesn't hurt 'em as much." "Oh, you're going straight to [bad word] for that one! Watch out, o'er there!" Here's an incredible coincidence. Ho Chi Minh, Colonel Sanders-- actually the same person? You be the judge. Our lines are open. Something real special right now. We've got our traffic report out there on the Ho Vhi Minh Trail. How's going up there? "Adrian, it's not exactly well. There's a water buffalo jacknifed up there. It's not a pretty picture. There's horns everywhere. I don't know what to say. We're gonna drop a little napalm there and try 'n cook 'im down. Have a little barbecue."

adrian
We've got a special man in the audience today right now. It's Mr. Leo. He's a fashion consultant "Thank you, i'm just very happy to be here. I want to tell you something." What's that? "You know, this whole camouflage thing, for me, doesn't work really well." Why is that? "Because if you go in the jungle, I can't see you. You know, it's like wearing stripes and plaid. For me, I want to do something different. You go in the jungle, make a statement. If you're going to fight, clash. You know what I mean?

adrian
Picture a man going on a journey beyond sight and sound. He's left Crete, he's entered the demilitarized zone. All right. Hey, what's this "demilitarized zone"? What do they mean "police actions"? Sounds like a couple of cops in Brooklyn going, "you know, she looks pretty to me". Hey, whatever it is, I like it because it gets you on your toes better than a strong cup of cappuccino. What's a demilitarized zone? Sounds like something out of 'The Wizard of OZ'. "Oh, no, don't go in there". &quo