“you cannot defeat the darkness, you can only be the light” [bad word] that/at the core of night i couldn’t imagine anything i’d like less than to be the light/and in this i mean literal darkness/literal light & literal night/ why would i want to? i liked you like i like the dark.

in it, i feel my body in a different way/because like when my body was with yours/in the dark my body doesn’t end at my finger tips/instead bleeding out into a space i can’t calculate the mass of but that i know is massive/i am a giant in these spaces/i am more than a giant/i am limitless/we are limitless.

darkness is an unending container/ i am a gas seeking to fill its volume or dissipate to harmlessness within it/let myself be absorbed into something that i am also an agent of until it and i are both malleable.

next darkness is the backseat of my dead best friend’s sisters car /and every potentially stubbed toe or missed step on the staircase/are the bobbing headlights that haunt your parent’s [bad word] into focus through the fog/slowly bouncing towards us like specters while we lay silently in cover/ save for the percussion of our hearts and the exuberance of our lungs

and every soft carpet fiber/every safely navigated hallway taking me deeper into dark is your charged touch sending jolts of current waltzing through my muscles/is your breathy way of saying my name.

after the hallway i stumble to my bed/ isn’t this exciting? feeling out into [bad word] unknown/i can float out into the dark until i’ve reach land again/if there’s land to be had/if there isn’t that’s fine/i feel safer now floating out into the precipice. i liked you like i like the dark/why would i aim to defeat it?