[bad word] on Christmas 
They're cutting down trees 
They're putting up reindeer 
And singing songs of joy and peace 
I wish I had a river 
I could skate away on 

Now it don't snow here 
It stays pretty green 
I'm gonna make a lot of money 
And I'm gonna quit this crazy scene 
I wish I had a river 
I could skate away on 

I wish I had a river so long 
I would teach my feet to fly 
Oh, I wish I had a river 
I could skate away on 
I made my baby cry 
She tried hard to help me 
She put me at ease 
And she left me so naughty 
She made me weak in the knees 
I wish I had a river 
I could skate away on 

I'm so hard to handle 
I'm selfish, I'm sad 
I've gone and lost the best baby 
That I ever had 
I wish I had a river 
I could skate away on 

Oh, I wish I had a river so long 
I would teach my feet to fly 
Oh, I wish I had a river 
I could skate away on 
I made my baby say goodbye