Betrayed myself one more time.
Time after time after time.

Can not sleep. Toxic nightmares.
Can not smile. Too disgusted.
Stabbed in the back by my own hand.
Hard to forgive and forget.
This is how it always ends:
enjoyment replaced by regret.

This is Improved Me.
The human being.
Absolutely perfect?
Will never be.
Life can [bad word] 
in many ways.
good reminder
of painfull days.

The peace of mind [bad word] again.
Was it really worth of all this pain?
Learning through pain. Still nothing.
I became my own enemy.
The mistakes erased from the heart,
but right now its too hard to breath.

Afraid of myself. Afraid of the deeds.
The same mistakes. The same results.

Can not sleep. Toxic nightmares.
Can not smile. Too disgusted.
Stabbed in the back by my own hand.
Hard to forgive and forget.
This is how it always ends:
enjoyment replaced by regret.