Which way do I go?

Pain I swallow I cannot keep it down
Hate I swallow I cannot keep it down

Down

You I hate you I cannot keep you down
You I'll rape you I cannot keep it down

Down

You before me
I can't take any more
Of what you have to offer
My ears are sore
Leave my feelings
In a heap by the door
Can't go up any [bad word] crashing back down