Sid’s mom:
We have to celebrate.

Sid’s dad:
Oh, great.
Another musical number. [bad word] see my son, the knight!

Everyone:
Oy, what a knight
Gather ‘round, you peasants
Look who’s graced us with his presence
What a hero, what a mensch

Oy, what a knight
Plus, the kid’s on fire
With a big farkakte squire
And a little shiksa wench

Oy, what a knight
God, is he to die for
Any girl would give an eye for
Such a hunk of kosher meat

Oy, what a knight
Handsome and a charmer
Is it [bad word] that ‘neath that armor-

Isabella:
Shh, he likes to be discreet

Rabbi:
Speaking as his rabbi,
why am I not surprised?
Our Sidney is the knight
who put the “sir” in “circumcised”

Everyone:
Oy, what a knight
So, how’s the business going?

Sid:
You know, jousting, tally-ho-ing
Saving damsels in distress

Everyone:
Oy, what a knight

Sid:
Oh! Did I mention slaying?
I did lots of it, just saying.

Everyone:
That’s our Sidney, the success
Hey!

Isabella:
What a gorgeous family
Your Sid can do no wrong
Who knew he came from such a lovely home?
Of course I’ll be converting
So I’m sure we’ll get along

Sid’s mom:
Honey, please!
You had me at “shalom”

Everyone:
Oy, what a squire
So tell us ‘bout sir Sidney

Galavant:
No.

Isabella:
He saved your live once, didn’t he?

Galavant:
No.

Isabella:
So, twice?

Galavant:
No.

Isabella:
Thrice?

Galavant:
No.

Isabella:
Do share

Everyone:
Oy, what a knight
Oy, what a diddle, deedle, didle
He’s our hero
He’s my idol
He’s adored by one and all

Sid:
You guys!

Sid’s parents:
And so, tonight, to honor our [bad word] You are all invited later
To a fancy-schmancy ball

Everyone:
Oy, yoy, yoy, yoy
Oy, yoy-yoy-yoy-yoy
Oy, what a knight
Oy, what a knight!
Hey!