Brian, top marks for not trying
So kind of you to bless us
With your effortlessness
We're grateful and so [bad word] 
And I wonder, are you putting us under?
Cause we can't take our eyes off
The t-shirt and [bad word] 
Well see you later, innovator

Some want to kiss, some want to kick you
There's not a net you couldn't slip through
Or at least that's the impression I get
Cause you're smooth and you're wet
And she's not aware yet, but she's yours
She'll be saying “Use me, show me the jacuzzi”
I imagine that it's there on a plate
You're whole rendezvous rate means that you'll never be frightened
To make them wait for a while
I doubt it’s your style
Not to get what you set out to acquire
The eyes are on fire
You are the unforecasted storm, hup

(Brian) calm, collected [bad word] 
(Top marks for not trying)
You made the other stories standing
With your renditions and jokes
Bet there's hundreds of blokes
That have wept cause you've stolen their
Thunder, are you putting us under?
Cause we can't take our eyes off
The t-shirt and [bad word] 
Well see you later, innovator