I know a girl that blows weed smoke in her newborn baby's face
She swears that he loves the taste
I know a guy that gets [bad word] til his [bad word] can't stand
Every time he calls I tell him I already got plans
I know a stripper that's intelligent and swell  [bad word] 
But her life's in developmental [bad word] I know I got another record I can sell
But I'll probably get indefinitely shelved (Word)

I know a girl with an artist trapped deeply inside her
She provides for herself, she don't need you to like her
She dresses like a famous portrait
She talks like an angel with the makeup of dangerous torment
She don't wanna get married, she wanna get carried
Away, and figure out how to display all the things she wants to say
She would try to paint, but she don't got the patience that it looks like it takes (oh no)
Plus her thoughts are too colorful to fit inside a picture
Her spirit is the genuine elixir
Her personality is such a brilliant, [bad word] work of art
She's a devil with a sensitive heart
She don't like the boys that feel like they gotta be cool
And she don't like the fake hoes in cosmotology school
But one day, she'll show the world
That she's no ordinary, [bad word] woman

I know a girl that blows weed smoke in her newborn baby's face
She swears that he loves the taste
I know a guy that gets [bad word] til his [bad word] can't stand
Every time he calls I tell him I already got plans  [bad word] 
I know a cook that's intelligent and swell
But his life's in developmental [bad word] I know I got another record I can sell
But I'll probably get indefinitely shelved

I know a guy that's a bouncer at a bar
He's got tattoos and scars, on his shoulders and arms
I know a girl that's a [bad word] waitress
But she's quittin' soon, she don't know how much longer she can take this
I know a guy that always thinks he's right
And he wonders why his friends are hardly ever in sight
I know a girl that never thinks she's right
And she'd probably marry you and everything tonight
I know a guy that's afraid to get married to his woman
He feels like a cushion, she barely tries to push him
It's not that she's hopin it moves faster
She just feels ready to open a new chapter
She wants to be a caretaker, but he wants to be free
So she doesn't wanna give that advice
But she doesn't understand how it's a sick sacrifice
To be loved so gently while you live half your life
Like, kick back your wife wants [bad word] your back
She's a humanitarian, she's not a door mat
Your track record isn't perfect, kiddo
Just stop bein so judgmental, let her love you
She says she's gonna give some more time to him
Before she admits she can see right through him
And then she'll find a man that'll invest in a wife
And let the other guy miss her for the rest of his life

I know a girl that blows weed smoke in her newborn baby's face
She swears that he loves the taste
I know a guy that gets [bad word] til his [bad word] can't stand
Every time he calls I tell him I already got plans  [bad word] 
I know a [bad word] that's intelligent and swell
But his life's in developmental [bad word] I know I got another record I can sell
But I'll probably get indefinitely shelved (Word)

I know a dude that's a male [bad word] I know a dude that says he's your friend 
But it always sounds like a sales pitch
I met a girl that does not eat meat
But she's got a good job so she bought me drinks (why thank ya)
I know a guy that's a social cokehead
I know a girl that only sleeps in her own bed
I know a world that is not enjoying itself
I know a world that's destroying itself
I know it all
I know it all
I know it all
I know it all...