Little Girl: Daddy what's it gonna be like in the year 2000?

 Dad: Well sweetheart for your sake I hope it'll all be peaches & cream. But I'm afraid the end time is near. The cataclysmic apocalypse referred to in the scriptures of every holly book known to mankind. It will be an era fraught with boundless greed & [bad word] where global monetary systems disintegrate leaving brother to kill brother for a grain of over cooked rice. 
 The nations of the civilised world will collapse under the impressive weight of parasitic political conspiracies which remove all hope & optimism from their once faithful citizens. Around the globe, generations of polluters will be punished for their sins. Unshielded by the O-zone they have successfully depleted, left to bake in the searing naked rays of light. 
 Wholesale assassinations served to destabilise every remaining government, leaving the starving & wicked to fend
 For themselves. Bloodthirsty renegade cyborgs created by tax dodging corporations reek havoc. [bad word] off androids tired of being slaves to a godless & gutless system, where the rich get richer & the poor get [bad word] over and out, unleash total world wide [bad word] by means of nuclear holocaust, annihilating the terrified masses, leaving in its
 Torturous wake nothing but vicious, cannibalistic, mutating, radiating, and horribly disfigured hordes of satanic killers, begged on revenge, but against whom? There are so few left alive. 
 Starvation reins supreme, forcing unlucky survivors to eat anything & anyone in their path. Massive earthquakes crack the planets [bad word] like a hollow egg shell, causing unending volcanic [bad word]  Creatures of the seven seas,
 Unable to escape the certain death upon land, boil in their liquid prison.
 Disease then circles the earth, plagues & [bad word] with no known cause or cure laying waste to whatever draws breath, and human-kind having proven itself to be nothing more than a race [bad word] scavengers, fall victim to merciless attacks at the hands of interplanetary alien tribes who seek to conquer our charred remains. 
 This is Extinction Level Event,
 The Final World Front. And there is Only, One, Year, Left.

 Little Girl: Wow, that's cool, I can't hardly wait!

 Dad: You don't have to, because here it is..........(echoes out)