The Garden Song

By:Filthy McNasty (a.k.a. Johnny Rebel)

Now, I live in the country
I got a neighbor...his name's Joe
And me and Joe
Don't get along just so

So, one day I decided
I was gonna fix his clock
And that puny [bad word] d
Never know!

Now, old Joe he growed a garden
Out behind his house
The prettiest [bad word]  garden
You've ever seen!

One day I [bad word] out through the grass
And watched his little, scroungy [bad word] And when he got inside
I got real mean!

I stomped on his tomata's
And I [bad word] on his potata's
And I [bad word] all over
His [bad word]  sugar beets!

And then I got my [bad word] real hard
And jacked off in that [bad word] yard!
And shot my rocks
All over his cabbage leaves!

I showed that little sucker, didn't I?
Thought I was guttin' a big ol' hog in the [bad word] Didn't know what was gonna happen next
Listen here!

Now, I left there tippin' like a mouse
And made my way back to my house
But when I got there
Things were kind of quiet.

I heard somebody moan and groan
And I thought, "What the [bad word] is goin' on?"
So I peeped through the window
And I saw a terrible sight!

It was Joe, and my wife, in the bed
And in my wife's [bad word] I saw his head
And I thought,
"That sonofabitch ain't got no sense!"

And he never [bad word] up for air
And there amongst the fur and hair
He was having a full-course meal
At my expense!

Now, a time, or two, he coughed and spit
And my wife screamed, and almost [bad word] And I thought that [bad word] Would never stop!

But he finally quit, and grabbed his pants
And up the road I watched him dance
Acting like old Johnny
On the spot!

Oh! I [bad word] up his eatin'!
And he eat up my [bad word] !
I didn't know the [bad word] was the kind
That went for suckin'!
While I was in his garden           [bad word] 
He was in my cornfield shuckin'!
And now my wife
Is throwin' rocks at me!

Now, the moral of this story is...
Don't ever pick the [bad word] 
You might not know the trouble
You'll be startin'!

Just let your [bad word]  neighbor be
And think about what happened to me
And most of all.....
Don't [bad word] with that man's garden!

REPEAT [bad word]