bring two prix fixe dinners up
I’ll unwrap the plastic cups
it’s just us my love
it’s just us my love

I will make the room up nice
put your insides all on ice
it was real [bad word] love
it was real [bad word] love

close all the windows
put signs on the handles
and strip down to my dun-dun-duns
you have gone so far
you have gone so far

and tonight
its just me and the minibar (just up to diminished)

candles from the walmart that
every city has to have
that I bought last night
that I bought last night

I was so excited to
do such normal things with you
when you left last night
with your [bad word] dry

no such details will spoil my plan
that is the kind of girl I am

can you hear room 318...?
man they’re really happening...
they’re a wild bunch
they’re a wild bunch

but if they just knew
what my night [bad word] too
god would they vomit [bad word] 
you have gone so far
you have gone too far
So tonight
it’s just me and the minibar
nobody else
and I sing at the top of my lungs
happy birthday us
happy birthday us