When I was a kid I wanted to grow up and be a cop in a
province town or county
I thought it would be great if somedy i could only ever be a
Mountie
I wanted to beat up crooks and make arrests because that's
part of the profession
But now I just sit on my horse and tell American tourists the
parliament's in session

I really don't look good in red and my stupid hat flies off my
head in every parade
I'm young and strong and have no fear but now I'm spending
my career in Motorcades (keep it moving)
 [bad word] I wanna enforce the law, I wanna wear normal clothes
I don't wanna have to smile for diplomat's home videos
I'm good at workin' real hard, I should have joined the Coast
Gaurd
Oh no the RCMP, is not the life for me
 [bad word] on everybody dance like me!)

I used to think that a Mountie had to be honest, loyal, humble
strong and thrifty
But even though we don't break ranks we get no thanks, they
took us off the fifty (dollar bill)
On Sus Drive in hallowed halls we act like gaurds in
shopping malls, it's such a pain [bad word] on in they're sleeping)
Like someone's plotting the assassination of the minister of
Sports and Recreation oh that's insane

Sometimes I just wanna puke on Sgt. Preston of the Yukon
Dudley Dooright's such a jerk  [bad word] You Snidely!!)
And though he tries with all his heart, my horse couldn't
catch a golfing cart
Somedays I hate to go to work
 [bad word] with "R..C..M..P...R..C..M..P..." in backround)
Halious banter between mountie and americans)
 [bad word] with "R..C..M..P...R..C..M..P..." in backround)